Well, son is back. I decided to address the drinking directly, filled bags with the empty beer cans and bottles I found in his room, text to him, his dad, and sister...letter to him for return. He spent last night cleaning up his space, taking out trash, cleaning the kitchen, and (before I went to bed) talking with me just in general (social/political/chat) but didn't say anything about the alcohol. I asked him to try AA. He hasn't said no. And, while I was at work today, he did more cleaning and general tidying up...I told him in the letter that I'll fill his car with gas, help but not with cash (we will grocery shop together, usually do anyway)---and expect him to actively seek work again (he is such a good worker...)--Right now he is off playing basketball with friends...not expecting any sudden change but he sure seems to be trying to show me he is willing to try. I was afraid he would be angry...and was willing to deal with that but perhaps his sister and dad spoke with him. (And, daughter called Friday to ask if I could join them up there for a day! No more feeling left out...she must have esp; I couldn't go but that doesn't matter) So, all in all, hopeful.