I have a medication review with my psychiatrist tomorrow, at which point I expect my meds will be increased yet again, as citalopram is helping about as much as rubbing E45 cream onto my head in an attempt to treat the depression - not at all. As well as the Quitiapine: meds aren't helping nearly as much as they should, in fact the only thing they're doing is preventing mania and keeping me stuck in the downward spiral. Great medications!

A letter arrived on Friday from the benefit services saying they require more evidence: pay slips and an SSP1 form from my employer. Who is now my FORMER employer (as of a day or so after I sent off the form - I couldn't leave my employer in limbo anymore). However, I didn't ever get a single pay slip while I worked, nor did I get to sign a contract in the 3 months I was there. I just got money paid in my account and worked, without any pay slips or a contract or ANY of the documents a GOOD employer would give me. I can't send them an SSP1 form (for statutory sick pay) because I didn't GET any sick pay - despite having a sick note from the doctor, my employer just paid it as annual holiday leave instead of sick leave! To top it off, they want all the forms in by Tuesday! That gives me ONE working day to get all this paperwork to them. They sent the letter out on Monday and it only arrived on Friday. Terrible!

So tomorrow I need to: attend appointment with psychiatrist, complain about my social worker, discuss how depressed I am (which is always difficult), phone benefits line to explain everything, make a citizens advice appointment, see my dad, pick up medication, and spend all day feeling miserable.

RB