I think that lately t is forcing me into hearing things that I should be working out on my own or maybe I am not even capable of working things out on my own just yet and need to hear these things.
I wish I wasn't a victim but truth is i have always been a victim of abuse, sexual, physical and emotional and some part of me lets this happen and that makes me feel sick to my stomach. My first t told me that and I hated her because I thought she was trying to hurt me, ( I was putting myself into the victim role again).[/QUOTE]

Hey you know sometimes it's more helpful to just think of yourself as not having had the opportunity/role models/permission to learn the skills that are necessary to stand up for yourself. Most people get to learn that in childhood. You probably didn't. If labels like "codependent" feel useful in helping you understand yourself and your path to change, then great. If they make you feel ashamed for "letting" abuse happen to you, you can avoid them.
Either way the task ahead is learning new skills and (maybe) understanding where your old pattern comes from. I know the sick feeling but try not to dwell there. You can start practicing by assertively saying to your T "I don't like when you say X about me! Can you think of another way to describe this that isn't so shaming?"