I can relate to so much of what you posted I had a friend at work who recently left too, and without her it is so lonely. I actually went into therapy right around this time as so many things in my life started falling apart all at once. I also think it might be nice if you could call your friend and just talk - see how he's doing. Is that possible? I recently talked with my T about the emotionally numb thing too and can understand wanting to be numb rather than to experience the horrible pain I don't know that my T completely understood but I can tell that you get it. I'm sorry that you do, but please know that it helps me not feel so alone. The pain hurts sooooooooo badly and I didn't think anyone felt it