The other problem (other than my reaction to rejection) is that the reason I like him is because I don't feel threatened by him and I don't feel like he would hurt me. But this is based on my false conclusion that a guy that is gentle in personality and isn't really muscular is someone who couldn't hurt me. But since it's physically possible, that conclusion is false. Nor is it apparently possible to be intimidating enough when I can't physically back it up (Because of some unknown condition, I have problems with my joints and my muscles are weakened).

I'm not sure if I'd be able to be happy with a guy anyway...as I don't know how not to be afraid of them unless they're afraid of me.

This all makes me sad...he was the only one that I got to protect from other people(he was teased a lot where it was crossing the line into bullying), and even I didn't think he would hurt me. And that's saying a lot for me.