I turned to God when it became blatantly and painfully obvious that the medical profession wasn't helping me. My physical pain is constant and my emotional pain has also been constant, running on like an endless river through the years. In fact, I am asking God to protect me FROM the medical profession and not for help from it.

Apart from this website and a few loyal friends in 3D, God has provided me with more help than mortal man ever has. He has also led me to said friends, people with the power to help me and who I can try to trust.

But it's gonna take a while to get that trust. No offense, but trust was not one of the values my parents left me with. Their biggest legacies in my life has been anger and fear and I don't want to admit that anything good in me came from them. My mother is less culpable than my father of course, because she's frightened by him and under his thumb. What else am I supposed to think of a woman who tells me to keep secrets from my father and who speaks for him in current ongoing e-mail correspondence? He never writes to me himself, it's always her.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.