When you actually regret everything. When you be very paranoid. When you avoid everyone because you know however the relationship begins and it doesn't matter how close it gets and how special you think they are, it just ends the same way.
When you smile and laugh one moment to convince yourself that you're fine but suddenly cry then smile.
When all you do is idealizing and devaluating others until you get to some point where you be very suspicious about everything and not sure about anything so you hate everything and become very avoidant and out of emotions.

Sorry for spamming.