Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
So I am extremely messy and I do find it hard to pick up after myself. Right now, nobody cares, because I do not let people who do care about such stuff and criticize me into my life any more. Ex H...
... used to say that I abused our daughters and harmed them for life by not teaching them to pick up clothes strewn on the floor in their bedrooms... and by setting a bad example...
... to some extent, he is right in that I did harm them for life - I did not teach them a valuable skill, just as my mother who was messy did not teach me a valuable skill, so I agree with him...
...at the same time, I disagree that I abused them by doing this - I mean, I breastfed those girls for years on end, washed their cloth diapers myself, took them to the local public library almost daily, and... you get the point - I was NOT your typical abusive mother, if such a stereotype exists.
But what I am saying is that yes, it IS difficult to pick up after yourself if you are not in the habit of picking up after yourself. It IS objectively difficult. What seems automatic to you is difficult for him. It could be that you are picking up after yourself on auto-pilot, whereas for him, it is work. Hence you are not seeing eye to eye.
TBA - I am posting in bits, just to make sure you know you are not alone at night in the UK, but somebody is listening in California.
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Thanks hamster, for your posts! I know that our parents can influence us with our habits - but his parents are very tidy. And when he visits his Pop, he cleans up after himself unprompted - even wipes off every last water drop from the sink after he washes up! So he's been bought up a clean boy. When I say this to him, he just says 'well, it's what they do, so I respect their way of cleaning'. Ha!
I like the idea of a housekeeper, but it will start another row but I will say it anyway! I don't mind doing more than my fair share with every day chores because he has a reasonably long day , but only at the moment while I have the time. I just object to his laziness of things like coke cans & wrappers. He's a slob at home. I used to clean up those bits too and only pick my moments to raise it (when it started to get to me) but now I just refuse. I am considering collecting his rubbish over a week and just shoving it on top of his stereo. That may get the message over.... mind you, I left everything he left on the sofa for a fortnight, and he didn't notice, despite it piled up high.
I don't mind a bit of mess, I am not a show-room type of person, I liked a lived-in house, but I do object to not being able to sit down on the sofa because too much rubbish and there's no room or it's sticky with coke!