I get the feeling alone in the marriage. And I've been in a position, where my mother and I weren't talking. Both her husband and my husband didn't like one another. And, she wasn't being the greatest of mom's to me, at the time, either.

That's when I pulled back. Not only struggling in marriage, but with my mom. Was a stay at home mom, at the time, and only a couple years into a new town, surrounded by people I didn't know.

I delved into a ton of self-help, that summer. Went to therapy. And reached out for on-line support, one that specifically geared towards my marital woes and how to better communicate with him. I learned I couldn't effectively communicate without getting to the root of my own trigger issues.

Mom and I were in the middle of this rift, a rift where a lot of not so nice things were floating around from both sides of the table. So even, when she called to break the news, it took me a while to get out of denial enough to even believe a word she was telling me.

Anyways, I was fortunate enough to have a Phd for a therapist, at the time. Working out the apron string issue in therapy, I was then able to assert myself better in the marriage and more effectively communicate with my husband.

He and I ended up moving to the location I currently reside. I decided that I needed to get myself into the community. I could not count on him for friendship. Not at that time. I told him, that going back to church, was important to me. Getting a part time job, that was afternoons and evenings was important to me. And through church, I found a volunteer opportunity. And I was making new friends. ((not saying church is the answer, it was the getting out and doing for me, what needed to be done for me that is the moral of this point))

I realized, through this volunteer opportunity. I am CORI material, meaning, I pass a background check. When I needed a new job, I was able to look into town employment. Two jobs were open for application. One was for a clerical position--more hours, sure, but daycare was a factor, the other was more labor intensive. In this labor intensive one, I found myself surrounded by women, with various life backgrounds, various personalities and it just was such a boost to my self esteem. And it's mother's hours. Some of these women, have become personal friends of mine. I have numbers to call, to set up times to go for lunch, hang out, etc.

It's hard to find other mom's to just hang out with. We all have busy schedules, different types of home life situations to deal with, etc. On-line can be fine up to a point.

Making new friends is daunting. Wishing that things between the mother daughter relationship were better, it's difficult, to let go of that dream. And being stuck in a home, with a man who just isn't meeting that need for emotional safety and security, someone who just isn't being a best friend...stinks!!!