I do understand. I in sorts have the same issue. I am a type A personality my wife Type B. I am the initiator in our relationship. I discovered that she was having an affair with a guy that she works with for over a year. my life was devastated by the act. My wife and I both worked in the ministry for many years, home-schooled, and appeared to be the poster board family. When I learned of her affair and confronted her with it she made ever excuse for it, even to the point of making it out to be my fault. Owning up to only the physical aspect. I often question her fidelity in our marriage due to factors as no gifts, no initiation in sex, no hugs, I love you's or any act that says I care. She says that it's just the way she is no big deal. It's hard to read my friend or to be stuck in the middle of confusion. I too find myself at this place often. My wife still works with this guy and they see each other daily, says there is no communication between them but gets mad at accountability. I know it a tough decision to make but I believe your a lot like myself in saying that if you knew what tomorrow would bring then walking today would be easier......