I would love to get involved with something, anything reall. One time I suggested getting involved with church, but he said something like, you don't have time for the things you do now how can you have time for that? So I gave up on that idea. Plus, my husband absolutely refuses to go to church anymore. The last time I think my husband went was for our daughters baptism four years ago. I need to get strength so I can just take my kids b myself. M not saying he doesn't have faith because he doesn't go but sometimes I think our life seemed better when we went. I needed it I guess. I went to catholic school as a child, and when I got older I stopped attending church even my parents did. When I met my husband I knew we were to be married in church so we started going every week. We did this also for the children, I thought it was good for them. Now he just won even budge. So we don't go.
I want so badly to get a therapist. At first I wanted one for the two of us to go.i thought it would be healthy for us. My husband said no. The kicker is, he actually went with his ex wife years ago. I felt horrible when he told me he did it with her. I mean why wouldn't he want t put effort into us? He said that its because it didn't help and that it made things worse. Whatever. So now because of all these issues in my dysfunctional life I told him I would go for myself. He didn't seem to mind that. He just kind of laughe and said ok but you realize your going to put this therapist to sleep with everything you have to say. Everything is like a big joke with him. So I'm hoping that I will be able to go in a few months.
I woke up this morning and he didn't say anything. I'm not going to get sucked in to his bs anymore. I'll just got about what I have to do and that's it.