Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I am unclear on many things in your post.
1) Who told you about the 50/50 chance? I have never seen such stats. Where do they come from?..
2) You are saying that your BPD made her cheat. This is highly unlikely. For many reasons:
- It is not possible to make a woman cheat. This is because cheating is a clandestine activity done without the partner's knowledge. Even if you literally forced her to have sex with another man by inviting him over and strapping her to the bed, it would not have been cheating since you would have been aware of the activity. So, LITERALLY, no, it is not possible to make her cheat.
- On a more serious note, you are probably saying MADE HER CHEAT in a figurative way. As in "she reacted to your BPD-ish quirks and somewhat unreasonable demands by cheating on you". This is within the realm of reasonable assumptions (meaning - it is not blatantly false), but there are a myriad other reasons that are also within the realm of reasonable assumptions. She might have simply liked the other guy. No fault of yours. Or, she might have heard delusional voices in her head telling her to sleep with another guy. Or she might have been simply bored. Or, for no reason at all - just random.
So... relax and figure things out and please share who gave you the 50/50 figure. It reminds me of my late great grandfather (who died before I was born). He was an OB-GYN. It was so many years ago - before ultrasound. So he predicted the sex of the baby. And you know what - he had a 50/50 chance of guessing it right!
Same thing.
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Yes, figurative speaking on the "made her" that's been the excuse for the last year half, she says that it is my fault that the affair happened and if I wasnt insecure she wouldn't have turn to another man. Sad thing is that our church has pretty much picked up her side also and said I have some changes to make for the marriage, yes she still attends but I no longer associate with the most of them. The 50/50 figure says that we can continue or not black or white I'm sure those are not professional stats. point is this; I read somewhere that BPD sufferers have a tendency to pack on the insecurities, I know I have but it's funny in a sort that I am only like that around her. Feelings of low self worth seem to be my norm when I'm at home. I'm a deputy and carry loads of confidence rather I'm working, speaking publicly, or just socializing. It's as if I am total dependent on her as a child to it's mother..Dude, this freaks me out and truly I know it's toxic, she has convinced me for years that I am a bad seed who is no good and all this bad things that happen are due to my insecurities and BPD..Scary thing is that sometimes Im convinced she's right and I deserved it. I would just love to find someone to share a oneness with but how...............