My hub has never been big on gifts as I have, but I've finally realized where he does show care and thoughtfulness in other ways. You may be able to get her to articulate some of this, as an earlier poster noted. I've also found that we can expect to much, and go there when we shouldn't. i noticed my husband works around a lot of guys who are divorced and that has changed him, at least provided part of the change. He seemed more amenable to trying in the marriage when he worked around more women and family men. I think I have lowered my expectations a bit of him showing love to me, and I am really happy he's here. So, for me, maybe unlike you, I don't think I'd be better off without him. I have thought that before, I'll admit and sometimes felt outright hatred. BTW for me, second marriage, first for him. I have found some of the forums and articles on PC very helpful for me in dealing with this, since he does not want to go to marriage counselor. He seems to be going through a phase where he is more focused on himself than he might have been before. Might actually be something he needs to go thru. Anyway, don't need to put all stress on me and mine, because this is basically your thread. Just think I can relate in some ways, IMHO, and I wish you all the best!