Rose, I know you have given me some helpful advice about my situation with my mother. You have made me think about more positive things and it has helped, since I don't have a t to talk to. I actually can feel your hurt. I know about the dreams, I have them. For me they go away but it took time. I think your right it is the healing process.
The power from my mother is always there and even when I'm thinking I've gotten better and had more positive thoughts it comes right back. That is what I need to learn, I need to learn how to ignore that power, because I don't think it will go away for me.
I kind of feel you are brave and very strong that you made a step in speaking to her. I'm still afraid of what I will feel if I talked with her even on the phone. I am not brave, I am very much a weakling. I want someday to talk to her and I would like it if she could just be nice and talk to me to, but i know if I did call her and after she got out the ration of crap she wanted me to hear about what ive done wrong to her, we would have nothing to say to one another except for nonsense. Then that would make me not want to talk to her some more.
I just thought I would say I'm sorry about your pain, since you have always given me such kind words.