I am just wondering whether others feel the same way i do. see, all my life ive had people "playing" with me, whether it be the sexual abuse i suffered where i was just treated like a toy, or if its a kid at school who thought it was ok to put his hand down my trousers, but its emotional games people play too. it just seems all people want to do with me is play.

Julie, from work did the same. she played me for a fool. she strung me along because i showed her attention because i really liked her, then she drops me like a ton of bricks. i have it all the time from people, and i cant understand why. i know its an insecurity in themselves, but they dont play these games with anyone, its usually me, i am easily open to it!? am i a fool? and how do i stop people doing this, i wish i knew how.

i have "friends" that i dont hear from for weeks, sometimes months, and then suddenly one day they get in touch, tell me ALL their problems and after i use my energy helping them, they go away and i dont hear from them again. ive stopped helping them now as im fed up of being used like a toy, so i dont ever hear from them now.

i think thats why i am weary of people who show care and consideration towards me, because i assume they are playing me. so i dont let people get close because of the fear of being hurt. but then when i do decide to trust someone, they end up playing with me emotionally.

it seems all i do is repair my feelings because someone has destroyed them. im an expert at being strong for myself, and when i am "played with" i do get over it quickly, quickly enough anyway. but i am tired of always having to get over it, repair the damage. i just fear that someone is going to get deep inside my defense and really do some damage.

what gives people the right to do this?

Have any of you experienced the same?

thanks for listening

simon