Sammi took the words right out of my mouth. Like the both of you I also started with a new T in September, and meds for the first time shortly after. Right now i feel very similarly to how you described feeling. Its hard trying to hide how you are feeling every day. It's physically draining, and it sucks. And as hard as it is, and as stupid as you may feel talking about it, if you can find at least one close friend / person to talk to .. it makes all the difference in the world. At first it's going to maybe make you feel guilty, or just feel dumb, but i promise you that if you can make that leap, and trust someone enough to open up, it will ease that cloud, and things will slowely become a little bit better, because that is one less person who you need to completly put that mask up for. You can do this, just hang in there, and take things one day at a time. Feel free to message me if you want, i'm here whenever
take care,
Jacq