The cheating is not the issue - the issue is the rest of it and that she blames you for her cheating.

Because... say if she said that she simply liked the other guy(s) without accusing you, that would have been humane, but she accused and blamed you.

... you do not need such a person in your life...

...moreover, since the issue is CONTAINED - you only feel those various insecurities around her, but not at work, so it is not a global issue in your life, but a local issue, the simplest route is to get rid of her... you yourself call her toxic... so just get rid of her and get a better wife - if you feel as comfortable speaking in public as you report you do, and socializing as well, you should not have difficulties meeting women so your fear of being alone is not justified.

So just do not continue on a path that has proven so precarious and unsafe for you.