We had our usual next day conversation. Apparently it doesn't matter now what I say, he thinks I am nagging him or telling him what to do. He has been snippy with me for a long time now, over totally innocent things, and he admitted that he now looks for things, presumes the worst no matter what it is.

So along the line we've lost the ability to communicate. And now, a few hours later, he's doing the normal feeling sorry for himself, and blaming everything on himself. Ugh. Heard it too many times now, though I didn't say that to him! I just wish he'd stop this feeling sorry for himself because he then blames me for feeling bad and around we go.

I asked him tonight to please talk whenever I say something that may be upsetting him, and let me explain what I meant or if need be, apologise if rude. It seems that even the most innocent of comments, even unrelated to housework, or something where I have a valid reason behind it, ie, to move something of his that is heavy so I can do DIY, or pick up his laundry from all over the house because I need to do some washing - he's just thinking I am being naggy or horrible and that's why he's mean and unhelpful. I told him I rarely mean anything to be nasty, and that's the truth - occasionally I get exasperated but his skin is so thin due to his self-esteem issues that it's going to be hard working through this. It's actually got to the stage no matter what I do or say, I am apparently out to get him. I just can't be on tippy toes - most of these issues are his. My issue is that I am no longer keeping quiet or being delicate 100% of the time. I do not have the patience.

Tiresome, dull and I think this is the last go at this relationship with me. After than all I have is to either put up and shut up or move on. With his selective memory being bad, and what I know is a deep belief that he is never wrong that I think this is not fixable. It doesn't matter what he said tonight because nothing changes and we just have the same issues over and over again. He just says what he thinks I want to hear.

Thanks again for replies earlier today. x