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Jul 08, 2013, 08:01 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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I never got the impression that you tend to have unhealthy friendships at all; my impression is that you have a good, broad social circle and are now trying to shed past habits of letting people take advantage of you -at worst- or just overstepping boundaries.
I think when there are long posts, it can be difficult for some to get through it all, and then you kind of skim and find these words that stand out to you and annoy or whatever. But, of course, the key is in the context, and the post(s)' story as a whole, not just yuck this or that word sounds judgmental.
In any case, as far as judging others (as you are with this person who flaked on you and then went out to party, etc.), I really do think it's unrealistic to say that anyone can completely avoid judging others (if only on a subconscious level) or is above that, or we should always avoid it, at any cost. She no doubt has her reasons (everyone does) but what the hell, that girl sounds like a jerk, I have no problem making that judgment. Others can disagree and so on.
But this is about how you're learning -and putting into practice- hard-won skills and strategies when it comes to setting up boundaries, sticking up for yourself, etc. And this is where, although it's been a struggle in this case, heart-wrenching even, you have been very successful. This is to be celebrated!
You're clearly very interested in learning from this experience, and exploring your emotions and behaviors related to it, figuring it all out (especially as this is new to you) so that you can understand what's going on, and decide how to go about this, how to further improve. You set up the boundaries you needed to -a big step forward- but then suffered in the aftermath for various reasons. I think it was brave of you to share the fact that her FB comment made you mad -it's perfectly human, but a difficult thing to admit, you let yourself be vulnerable here in putting it out there, that's not easy.
All in all, kudos to you! 
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