Today T said anorexia. It's been the elephant in the room for quite awhile, but now it's out there. It came up when I said I told my mom and told her what my mom said...and she said something like yeah, everyone thinks all anorexics are super skinny. And at that moment, it became real. I mean, I knew it, but I didn't want to accept that yet. Accepting I have an ED (non-specified) was really hard for me...now I have to accept anorexia...I'm now the girl I never wanted to be...but I'm working on changing that. I had a smoothie and a few pretzel sticks before dinner, and still ate at dinner (though I felt super awful afterwards, to the point of bawling)...