Welcome to the forum I hope you do come back on here and don't give up. I know its really hard having so much extreme anxiety that it prevents you from living your life, there is help though. Therapy is something to look into, although it doesn't solve everything at once, can be difficult at times, and takes awhile, I really think it's worth it. To at least get something started, and have someone to talk to so you can get help with what's been going on