I feel like this all the time. I feel like today I can be forgiving, lively, and forgetting the past. The next day I'm all thinking about what happened and how I could change the situation and things like that. As a result of contemplating the past, I feel like I want to get back at some of the people who were once mean to me, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I feel like I can contradict myself a lot in what i say and do. it's like do what i say but don't do what i do.