It's been five days since I SIed.

As for it being simply a defense mechanism... I don't truly believe that. To me, as well as it being something like that, it is a habit and an addiction. I self harm when stressed, but I also self harm out of compulsion to self harm. I could just be sitting in bed and then go grab a razor and cut, or go have a ciggy and burn with the ash.

It covers a wide spectrum. Sure, some people do it as a reaction to stress. Some people will do it as a compulsion. Anything can be addictive, really. Self harming included.

Personally, right now, I enjoy self harm. I just haven't had the time. Which in itself is great. I don't really want scars up my arms and thighs for the rest of my life. And, while I don't enjoy living, I am at the moment scared to die. Paradox fail.

Having an incredibly open mind about all of this helps if you can put yourself in other people's shoes. Empathy is better than sympathy.

jesuslovedtech