I think that you could change your therapist. Take antidepressants and stimulants mood is cleaning a result of depression. In the very first need to remove the cause of depression, take it , take all your fears and doubts. There are a million reasons to live. Life is great. Take care of creativity, painting, photography, music - it will distract you from suicidal thoughts. Another thing you can do sport exercise, physical activity is very good help for panic attacks and depression. I checked on myself! Keep us informed of their status, maybe someone here can help you! Hug!!!!