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Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys
So for the past 12 years I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder because of these blackouts I would have. I always had trouble believing it. Well an unusual turn of events landed me with the neurologist and he ran an EEG and it confirmed I have epilepsy and as far as we know my blackouts for the last 2 years at least, but probably all of them, are seizures. So I don't have DID but I do have epilepsy. It's been hard to cope with the diagnosis and the epilepsy seems to make my OCD/GAD worse (ts not sure which it is now). So I went back to my therapist from last year. I told him about the epilepsy but he insists I still have DID and when I met with him yesterday that was the focus. But when I talked to him on the phone before my appointment I told him about the epilepsy and when he was convinced it was DID I asked Jim for my sessions if we could focus on my unhealthy thoughts and fears since that is what's plaguing me right now and he agreed. But for the entire appointment he kept bringing up DID. He also gets worked up about my mom being a piece of work. I love my mom and believe me I know her flaws, but she has issues like I do, from her past but she's a very caring person. It's taken years for me to be able to have a healthy relationship with her but he's constantly talking badly about her.
I need to be in therapy. My thoughts are really effecting me and my fear has full control. But t will not give up on the DID thing and I just don't know what to do. Anyone have any advice they would like to share?
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I know it sometimes can be hard having a therapist that keeps bringing up past issues. but Im wondering if his bringing it up is his way of trying to understand what made it look like you had DID and maybe those same issues are still there so he might be focusing on it to see where your head is at...
if I remember correctly from your past posts many of your posts focused on his not believing you had DID when you were so sure you had it.. so now that its the other way around maybe hes trying to figure you out kind of thing.,,, you are told you dont have DID and you fight to get a diagnosis for it, then when a treatment provider (him) says you have it, you fight against it, and now that its confirmed to you that you dont have it he may be trying to figure out what the heck is going on with you. you just happen to be one step ahead of him and he needs time to catch up...
treatment providers get confused too
maybe you can give him access to the treatment providers that have diagnosed you with epilepsy and let them have some talks together.
maybe you can say something like..you know this is causing me more stress then I need, since Im obviously not explaining things right to satisfy what ever it is that is causing you to keep bringing this up, heres contact information for the treatment providers that have ruled out DID and ruled in epilepsy. Theres nothing else I can tell you about this other than Im in therapy to deal with my present day issues. you have a problem with my being diagnosed not DID then take it up with those that ruled it out,
now hers the problem Im coming to you with today... and then focus on what present day problem you want to work on.