So recently I have noticed the signs of an episode occurring. I have been going of spending sprees, which I know I can't afford yet I can't resist buying. I have been starting fights for no reason at all, I have no patience, my irritability is through the roof, and I have been making very poor decisions.

I ran out of my medications about three weeks ago. I have not been able to get to my psychiatrist because I do not have a car and my mother has been too busy to take me to an appointment. There is no bus route to his office so I feel stuck.

I have been hurting the people around me emotionally. I told my boyfriend that I needed to give him space during this episode. I was saying rude things to him and I was making irrational decisions for our relationship. I can't stand not talking to him, but I can't help but think it is for the best. I don't want to cause him more pain than I already have. I just feel like I have to stay away until I can work through this episode. i don't know if it is the right decision, but I can't think of any other solutions.