Thanks, wiki.

Actually, I admire when people are able to make choices that they believe are in their best interest, as a form of self care. I guess, in this case, I am struggling with being able to see it as self care.

Perhaps he is making a decision that he believes is good for him....waiting until T comes back before addressing this. Perhaps he doesn't feel safe enough without T there to be able to navigate the clashes between him and coT in a healthy way, especially since this coT doesn't quite know how to react to him without being defensive.

Maybe it is self-care after all.