Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadie
Was your answer honest? I get the feeling there may have been some attempt to control on both sides here. What's the history of the relationships with him & with mother? Are there other children?
Sounds involved, have you been in therapy with this?
Sorry about yesterday. Feels like lots of pain on both sides. 
Long distance relationships? Or will you have a chance soon to re-visit this with him?
Roadie
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To be honest I'm not really sure who I'm closest to. I care about them both, in fact I think my son more, but I said my mum because I turn to her at times for emotional support although I only see her about once a month, although we speak several times a week on the phone.
There was an acknowledgement that there had been a distance for a while and he said that he was over it, and that he had been over it for a long while. When I tried to talk to him he said that I was boring him.
I know that I'm really stressed because I'm having trouble remembering the conversation and that can be a sign for me that I'm stressed out about something - I just blank it out.
He is totally against any kind of therapy. He said that its not up to him to help me change or address issues and that he wouldn't pay to see someone who thought that they knew how the mind worked and implied that psychology was rubbish and that he would rather speak to his friends.
He's going back to his dad's tomorrow and then on back to uni. I may not be able to have him to stay from now on because government changes to room allowances mean that I have to think about having a lodger in what was his room. I've had trouble making my mind up over whether to take one on incase he wants to come back and live with me, but when I've spoken to him about it he says that he does not know where he will be in the future and said that he doesn't have any feelings about coming back to stay.
The thing is that his dad is moving to another area, so if he does end up living there or staying with him in the holidays, I may hardly see him.
Perhaps you are right about there being some attempt to control on both sides - I really don't know. I wish that someone with insight could have been a fly on the wall. There are no other children. I had a MI from when he was about aged two on and off and have had times apart from him when his dad cared for him. I know that there were times when it was hard for him, but I'm concerned that he's built a kind of wall - in fact I think I said to him that it felt like there was a barrier.