Oh my goodness, it sounds like we're in exactly the same place. I am SO sorry you are suffering like this. It's brave and hopeful of you to share it here, to try and reach out when you're feeling hopeless.

I hope like Rect0pathic said, and believe, that your therapist is trying to give you an opportunity to continue, actually, but at the same time, they feel obligated to treat you as an adult- to act based on what you say, not what you're feeling underneath it, and to extend as much help as they can to you without trying to second-guess you or disrespect your words.

I wish you healing and hope. I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm right in the middle of this too, and it's hard to know what to do sometimes.