I am going to offer a radical approach then.

Do not converse during one-on-ones with SO's.

Just enjoy each other's company in silence. Or, listen to music together. Or, watch a movie together. Or, make love. Or, just sleep side by side with your boyfriend. Or, go for a walk and each think your own thoughts. Or, go sit outside a restaurant now that it is summer, sip a drink and watch people, each by herself or by himself. Exchange a couple of comments when you feel like, but take off the pressure to converse non-stop.

A couple of reasons for this approach:

- Little children go through a stage called "parallel play". Read about it - it is a hugely important developmental stage, which precedes actual "playing together". There is something from that stage that gets carried over into adulthood. Say, I have a cubicle at work next to the cubicle of a male colleague who is extremely weird though very sweet. He is a cross dresser (think of PUMPS and MUSTACHE and BEARD in one man - for real). He is into electric cars, Indian food, and movies for very geeky people (he is an engineer at a tech company). I am not into any of those, and it is hard for me to converse with him because it is hard to follow his train of thought with all that geekiness, and I sometimes just focus on reading his body language to know when to nod appropriately as if I were following his train of thought whereas I am not following (VERY GEEKY). At the same time, when I see him sitting next to me and working while wearing his headset, I feel comforted that I am not the only person working and my boring work becomes a little less boring. Also, when my daughters were little, I liked sleeping on a couch knowing that they were playing together next to me - it was just wonderful to have them nearby. Also, I feel comforted by the presence of my cats at home, even though I am not that much into petting them, and, I believe, they are comforted by my presence as well - they like to sleep next to me.

What I am trying to say is that there is some sort of comfort that can be experienced by being next to a person without actually DOING anything with that person (conversing is DOING), but just being next to him. So maybe this is the kind of a compromise that may allow introverts to enjoy the company of others - without any expectations of doing anything together.