It started maybe a week ago. I mean, technically, it's started about months ago, but I just started noticing it getting REAL bad about a week ago. I haven't been able to read a book... email... post on the forum...

That's any longer than like, 3 sentences. I mean I CAN... sort of. If I try really REALLY hard and kind of say it outloud and slowly. I'm pretty laid back and chill most of the time, but I've just been so... spaced out. I guess that's the best way to put it.

I was blaming it on the fact that I just got my contacts and that sensation is very weird. But I keep getting randomly dizzy. Like... foggy. It's hard to for me to work up the ambition to get anything done. Anything. Granted I haven't been around for a few days (at home) but I've had dishes in the sink for over a week. It's gross and I can't do it.

I lost my bank card last week but took that as a sign that I probably shouldn't have one anyway. And (wow, shock) last week was the first week in a while that we didn't have only $5 left in the bank account before payday. Go figure.

I haven't wanted to cook anything. In like... forever. This coming from the person that used to bake her own bread. And make EVERYTHING from scratch.

But... I don't feel depressed. I don't feel overly sad or anything. I feel... nothing. I mean, I don't feel like a monster. A friend told me they were going through a hard time and I felt sad for them, I still can feel emotion. It's not like totally gone. I just feel like I'm existing. I'm here. I'll go to bed soon. Then I'll get up and continue existing tomorrow.