For me, it's hearing that I somehow get something from being self abusive. That I am not necessarily doing it because it is habit but because it serves some purpose. I am getting through it with some rage, angry, and resentment, with a little fury thrown in, in between trying to actually think about it and figure out what purpose it serves in my life and how to change it.

I do not mind the tough love stuff. It would have been years probably before I was able to address it on my own and I have no desire to be in therapy that long. I don't mind him pointing things out to me that I need to change in order to be healthy.