The tough love approach does not work well with me, although I'm sure we all have different views on what is considered tough love.

I know that when my T addresses me in a forceful way, I don't receive it well. When he is more gentle, I am more able to receive the intended message. When we butt heads, it's helpful for him to be direct with his feelings behind it so that we can work through it in an open and honest way.

It's important to recognize how you feel as a result of what your T is doing, and perhaps addressing that can lead to something worthwhile.