He wrote back saying he understood I was in a bad place today, offered a free closure session and didnt like me ending therapy this way, still believed I could recover but respected my wishes. Thought it was better to end face to face.

No warmth or conviction of emotion and this closure session sounds like something designed to leave a T feeling better- how the **** can someone in my current state benefit from a closure session? I'm in hell and don't even understand why I quit, even more baffled by this response- shouldn't he be telling me I'm crazy to quit with all this trauma work looming? Someone help.

I suspect, too, that he will share how continuing may benefit you during the session. But it is his role to respect your decision as you articulate it, even if he disagrees with it. For those of us who may never have been listened to in our FOO, whose opinions/decisions were demeaned or ignored or punished, we often learned to interpret defiance as affection and caring. Ts won't engage in that positioning, and that can feel cold or disinterested to us. But it really isn't.

Go and talk. Maybe arrange for some coping measures before trauma work. Maybe agree to a break. But talk--at the very least, you need to understand for yourself why you feel an urge to quit.