He was the love of your life and you turned out to have abandonment issues - might be a more accurate or useful way of looking at it? If you keep blaming the demise of the relationship on what was wrong with him, then the next relationship is also out of your cobtrol. I'm your age and just starting to get a handle on my own abandonment issues, so I'm totally walking in your footsteps. Or I would be, if I weren't standing by the side of the road like a deer caught in the headlights.