i feel really low today i dont even know why

earlier today i was thinking about my parents and i felt anger at them
i havent seen them in many years and they never try to contact me
no word from them over the fourth of july weekend

and i thought, how did life end up like this. its not where i thought id be right now. when i was little, i never thought id be where i am now. its been like this for a long time, it doesnt get better, i cant imagine what can possibly change to get me out of my mess