Yeah, for sure you are clinically depressed. Push past your reluctance (or fear, or whatever it is) and tell your doctor, or ANY doctor or mental health professional. There are good people who understand all of what you've described and deal with it and much more every day of their lives. You aren't alone and need not suffer, but ya gotta take that step towards getting help. Sometimes just talking about it with a pro (good counselor, not necessarily a shrink) can help a great deal. You've taken a big step by sharing this very personal stuff here, and that shows you want to change these problems. You're very bright and you must know this stuff can be helped! Give yourself that help because you deserve it. Peace. Alex.