Hi RoseBee...

As someone said, the cancer testing, etc. is enough to put anyone over the edge. This is making you hypersensitive to any other situation in life with which you have to deal, including the bf's child.

Let me give you some advice on the bf's child....I was 33 when I met a man with 3 kids--boys 7 & 13, girl 17. Our love was love at first sight and I tried to deny it and move on but our attraction was too strong. I had my own apartment, own car, own paycheck, own life and never wanted kids--ever. After 6 months, I moved in with them and we married when I was 36. It was rough at times. The boys were not well-behaved and there was some jealousy on the girl's part. Later on, I found out about a daughter he'd had about the same age as the 13 yo boy but circumstances are such that he has no relationship with her. We tried but it didn't work out. It was very strange but I hung in there.

He had enough love to go around for all of us. We tried to keep our relationshp separate from the ups and downs of the kids. I learned when to keep my mouth shut because I was not a parent to those kids and never tried to be. I only tried to be a friend. I learned quickly that my paycheck was no longer mine. I learned that he loved those kids no matter what they did. I tried to put myself in the kid's places and did not do the diva thing. Even if I was a little jealous over something (I'm only human) I didn't let it show. I knew it would pass. I knew the kids would eventually grow and go but I would still have my husband and partner for life, someone to grow old with.

This all started 24 years ago. We are still happily married. The girl and I are best friends. She is now a professional in the medical field, age 41. The two boys got into drugs, committed felony crimes, and are now in prison. We lived through their pictures being on the front page of our local newspaper and their names always mentioned on the radio news stories. I cannot imagine the pain my husband feels daily over losing two sons. We have nothing to do with either of them now. If your bf's child is a good boy, half your battle has already been won.

My life has been hell at times but I feel that God kept me single and child-free for 33 years to be with this man.

You need your man now more than ever. Get and stay close to him, treat the child with respect (you don't have to fall in love with him), take care of yourself and be patient.

I pray that everything works out for you.