More mother dreams last night. Two weeks since the phone call, and dreams are not subsiding. I could strangle my cousin for giving in to the old ladies and calling me. Don't they live in peace, doing whatever they want to do? Aren't I entitled to do the same? But no - I'm doomed because I once knew them. Because I happened to be related to them. Because I failed to live up to their standards. Never mind that they failed my standards.

Eta: yeah the couch is different. I think its opened up some.