I took the day off work because I have a ton of stuff that needs be done. It sounded like a good idea at the time. It wasn't.

As much as I don't enjoy my job, it keeps my mind engaged. I need that. I sit here at home with a "to do" list, but I am completely drained of energy and am having an incredibly difficult time getting it done. It's much easier to sit here and wallow in my own self-pity, to obsess with everything that isn't right about my life right now, to waste time on the web and listen to sad songs that speak to my soul in my current state.

At work I manage to push past this listlessness, I guess because I feel I have no choice, but at home, even though I still feel like i have no choice, my body feels like 1,000 lbs as I try to move it off this chair. I should be cleaning, packing for my trip, paying attention to the kids. Instead I find myself killing time, waiting for the day to end.

Sorry about the whining, but I'm in this position so often and I don't know how to pull myself out of it.