(((((((((biiv))))))))))

You are nothing you've said. You're having a hard time voicing things you feel - that is normal. (At least it is for me too).

I do recommend printing off your post and writing anything she says question-wise and answering them on paper and bringing it with you the next session.

Sometimes they can be really pushy, but they do try to get you to talk.

I don't think she's mad at you or that she thinks you're nuts. Therapists have days too when they can't think of the right word. She's more than likely just concerned for your wellbeing - which is a good thing.

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she wants me to tell her how i want to change my life. if i knew how to do that i wouldnt be seeing her!

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Instead of telling her how you want to change your life - what about what you WANT to change in your life. It can be something big or something small. No wrong answer. (Like I want to be happy with myself - that is what I want to change and I still don't know how to do it). She'll help you.

Hopefully I've made some amount of sense (sorry, I tend to ramble).

Take care of yourself.