About the young man: There is nothing your parents are going to accept about him now, but maybe in time. Give it time, and when they speak negatively of him simply remind them that everyone makes mistakes, and you forgive them for the ones they made, and therefore should be allowed to make your own.

In that way, you are validating their concerns, but also drawing a boundary.

About the education: I am a special education teacher and am on the brink of livid at hearing of your educational history. I am so sorry you experienced teachers who didn't know how to support you academically.

About the Mom: Accept that you may never be close with your mother and just take her at face value. I had to do that with mine. She was raped at a young age and had me, but wanted little to do with me. Now we talk when she has a problem, but that's about it.