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Jul 10, 2013, 03:38 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Posts: 4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseBee
About the young man: There is nothing your parents are going to accept about him now, but maybe in time. Give it time, and when they speak negatively of him simply remind them that everyone makes mistakes, and you forgive them for the ones they made, and therefore should be allowed to make your own.
In that way, you are validating their concerns, but also drawing a boundary.
About the education: I am a special education teacher and am on the brink of livid at hearing of your educational history. I am so sorry you experienced teachers who didn't know how to support you academically. 
About the Mom: Accept that you may never be close with your mother and just take her at face value. I had to do that with mine. She was raped at a young age and had me, but wanted little to do with me. Now we talk when she has a problem, but that's about it. |
Thank you for your kind, genuine reply. It hurts knowing that they won't even give him a shot (although Dad has implied he is willing to at some point, whatever that means), despite the fact that he is the first who actually likes me for who I am wholeheartedly and makes me feel genuine joy. He is deeply religious (Christian) and I am what those who know me best call me a mystic of sorts. If you ask me, it is huge that he accepts my views and me his! Despite those differences, we are willing to work through them just to be with one another.
I genuinely believe that with time my dad will come around and such. He was actually more accepting of things until something recent happened that interfered with their relations with friends they literally met at the end of December (is a long story but does greatly reflect the very issues I discussed in my OP). With my mom, I am not sure to tell you the truth. I really don't think her and I will have a close relationship at least not until down the road. I have tried to reconnect with her, open up with her, etc. yet nothing works. She just goes back to her old ways of how she treats me and it gets really difficult reaching out because she breaks my trust with her actions and how she uses the things I tell her against me. My whole life I have been trying to search for a new "family" so to speak, especially a new maternal figure who will support and love me for who I am.
My mother was never the maternal type and she doesn't seem to care for me the way I am (seems to "love" me out of obligation since she's my mother). It really broke my heart when she told me that she thought to herself there is something wrong with me the day I was born. I understand why and based on events that happened a few months back, she got a new understanding of why I am the way I am. My opening to her about those events did help my relationship with her. At the end of the day she still is who she is and well while I may have forgiven many of her past mistakes I feel I must move forward with my life. I realize that I must choose for myself what is right for me, despite the fact it contradicts what my parents want for me (isn't that how it works out a lot of the times anyways?).
As far as my education goes, it was my mom who followed the recommendations of the teachers and psychologists. It may seem like she was doing what she thought was best for me (and probably is), yet she didn't really consider to think twice about how they could actually be wrong. My dad actually wrote a paper in college about Autism and he actually presented his views about how I was diagnosed with it and was skeptical about my diagnosis. I realize that not everyone has experiences in school that I had. I have also seen other kids in special education who were not receiving the education they deserve. One of my high school friends in 11th grade actually was learning 6th grade math material (and I at one point tried to tutor her actually); I actually visited her class a few times and all the kids did was socialize most of the time. The teacher didn't care to help the students out too much, just made the class "easier" so she puts in less effort. I don't mean to make you angry with this, it's just I've seen a lot of kids fall into the cracks.
Again thank you very much for your kind words and advice .
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