(edited by LMo - added trigger icon)

I firstly warn this is a long post and the next bit can be skipped without any discontinuity, I think.

A bit of past history about me from roughly a decade ago - (there's alot but I believe this to be relevant to what's happening now)

I used to take amphetamine sulphate in large doses and smoke cannabis whilst it was taking effect. I did this for I think about a year or so as far as I can remember, there is still chunks of my past that are missing.
Mixing chemicals like that did have a profound effect on me and I was frequently in a very strange state of consciousness... obssessive, paranoid, death, perfection.

Within the first few months I started to mildly hallucinate; little people in trees, spiders and insects covering my bed/walls/floor, tiny video cameras everywhere (soo small I couldn't see them which was the purpose).

Only ever once did I hear voices outside my mind, it said "now then my old pal" and that's the last I heard of it.

Eventually no matter how much amphetamine I took I always had a bad time and I was in a right state. I went to the doctors because I was trembling and shaking alot. The doctor quickly established what was wrong and prescribed me sleeping tablets (and yes he figured I was on speed but don't think he knew I'd had a load the night before).

Anyways that night I took only one sleeping tablet and sat watching the tv. After about half an hour I noticed two miniature dogs under the tv and their mouths were moving in sync with whatever was on the tv. I thought nothing of it believing it to be normal.

After about an hour I went to go to bed hoping for a decent sleep. Something stopped me though and I just sat on the bed as my mind wondered. For some reason I lifted my top up and looked at my belly...suddenly this spider crawled along my belly and disappeared into my bellybutton.
I then looked up and my twin was in the room, I asked him what he's doing tonight and he disappeared. Again everything seemed normal. Then I noticed up in the corner of the room this medievil reality appeared, getting bigger and coming closer to me then it too disappeared as I was disturbed by noises outside.

Three skeletons with ripped up flesh and internal organs appeared stuck in the floor, as I looked around the room I saw small creatures so I went into the main room. I sat down on a chair and little people were walking around the fireplace, then all of a sudden everything became extremely bright and the room disappeared.. I was in a field and a gold antique clock was beside me, translucent people talking to each other as they walked past me.

After a few seconds I was back in the room and I suddenly felt dread and fear as I looked at my dog snoopy got smudged into the sofa. I looked at the cushion on the side of the sofa and I could feel there was something lurking at the side and it was going to lift the cushion. Yep the cushion started to lift up into the air but there was nothing behind it.
This black demon dog with red eyes appeared besides me and ripped my leg off. Big creatures and demons started to come out from the walls and ceiling, I closed my eyes not wanting to see. A neighbor came round wondering what was going on so I made my way to the door with my eyes closed. I tried to explain and they took me to their car as they was going to take me to hospital.

When I got in the car I briefly opened my eyes and I saw this black demon/creature with extremely long pointy fingers (something like 2 foot in length) sat in the back of the car.

Anyways in hospital things got worse, had aliens (sigourney weaver style) chasing me around the ward, walls with ripped up flesh and blood, decapitated heads, spikes made of light trying to impale me, humongous spiders, a human being laying on the floor and it's flesh being stripped, then it's organs removed and so on until all that was left was a skeleton. Demons with total black eyes just staring at me, crawling along the ceilings and walls. People being chopped up with big swords and axes..people sat in a corner scraping around their eye sockets with glass and snapping & cutting their jaws off.. other realities appearing 'on' walls, I then saw myself, like a clone or something. I believe I saw my subconsciousness layed bare for me to literally see.

A few weeks later I was diagnosed with a drug-induced psychotic psychosis which I was in for a number of months where I continued to hallucinate and see reality differently than how it was.

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For the last few years my dreams have been gory/gruesome/evil in nature. (I've been off drugs for around a decade by the way and I'll never touch them again)

I've tried watching gory films and horrors and that seems to have stopped the nasty dreams, but this concerns me somewhat because now it's transferred from my dream world into reality and now nothing disturbs or sickens me (when it comes to flesh/blood/gore) Infact I almost feel intrigued and uncontrollably my mind wonders about ways to make it nastier.

I feel people can hear my thoughts so I have to be 'blank' if I go out and about which took alot of effort to do and I can't do it indefinitely. People infront of me seem to follow me, they know where I'm going that's how they can follow me before I even get there myself.
I restrict my emotions and almost switch them off like I'm totally emotionless and I have to walk and act in a set fashion with no deviation so nobody can 'read' my thoughts although obviously this doesn't always work.

Video cameras these days don't seem to be made soo small you can't see them, they are in plain view which is quite uncanny, perhaps they are decoys from the real cameras to fool me or make me feel 'comfortable' that I know they know I can see them.

Nothing really matters that much as I often think I'm in a coma and this is some sort of dream world and the last decade of my life hasn't really happened.

I also believe there is 'something' out there looking after me, like I'm a golden child or something that should be protected but at the same time need to learn valuable and noble lessons, the most important seems to be patience, hence the coma.

Sorry for the long post, I quite sure I'm fine, I guess I'm just needing confirmation and someone elses point of view really. Like a yay or nay is enough.

Thankyou anyone for possibly even reading this.