A defence mechanism? Protection against loss of esteem?

Does this behaviour persist in all social interactions?

I understand the black and white reference, is there any way your partner could adjust by "fine tuning"(his attitude) like adjusting through shades of grey?

I will leave with a link that will lead you to a forum here at the PC website.

Steps to Better Self-Esteem - Forums at Psych Central

Perhaps feedback from PC members who frequent that forum might elicit something helpful for your situation. Or, if your post does not post useful feedback, you may have to read through post in that forum that relate to your situation. You may find members(based on what they have posted in reply) who you can private message for advice.(I hope your partner may learn what "adaptive" self esteem entails.)