Are you seeking any professional help? How effective is your support network? To me it sounds like you want to explore, to seek a better understanding of how you have reached this point - therapy is often the best option for that. That isn't to say there are no ways of helping yourself with this matter. What is it you enjoy? Do you think meeting someone through a more familiar setting like that would help? If you're terrified of how you will come across and what it is you'll have to say this is where having something in common with the other person definitely helps. Bolstering your self esteem in general is also another way of ensuring you will feel more confident and relaxed when meeting new people. Go out with your friends as much as you can and enjoy the perks of single life - it takes someone special for you to want to give that up and i think the more assured you are of yourself, the easier it is to spot the right person for you. Good luck.