I'm really sorry i couldn't be of more help to you - i seem to struggle with this in every reply i write lately :s - but that's not your problem. I think generally i was just trying to say perhaps smaller steps, some seemingly insignificant ones, might be the way to tackle this long term. I don't know what sort of professional help you get but i can relate a LOT to the intrusive thoughts - i have OCD so sadly it's become pretty much a way of life for me. That doesn't have to be the case for you though, i think getting a handle on it before its harder to break out of is vital. Even if OCD isn't the diagnosis there are some great DBT/CBT techniques/support mentioned here as well as on other great sites like this one: DBT Self Help I don't know you may have already experienced these sorts of things and found them difficult to apply to daily life but i hope either way you manage to support yourself whether or not you get therapy etc We'll of course be here to listen even if it does feel somewhat like the blind leading the blind :s