AAAAA, thank you very much for the response. I'm pretty sure you hit the nail right on the head. I think that is the reality that I am just in denial of right now. As I said in the original post, her "wants" right now I believe are driven by the fact that she doesn't want to struggle - yet she's afraid of living the rest of her life unhappy with me. My problem is, I don't want to have to go through the pain of attorneys, trying to protect my companies, protect my reputation if she decides to run her mouth, we would probably have to put the house up for sale in order to fund separate living arrangements, and I don't want to hurt my children when I DO believe that she will probably have the same epiphany that you did.

I think she is going through a mid-life crisis a little early (she's 36). She's had body image issues for years, but now all of a sudden she's in fitness mode, and wanting boob job and tummy tuck which she has wanted for years, but now it's all of a sudden a priority. It's like all of a sudden nothing is good enough, including me, and things have to be fixed immediately. But is this "mid-life" crisis and body image issue driving her dissatisfaction with me - or are these things preparation to get back on the market? I can argue either way. If it weren't for the timing of everything occurring, I probably wouldn't even question.

You said there might be something else going on ... she has a lot of new friends lately, and I think she may be comparing their life to hers and I guess she thinks everyone else has it better. These new friends don't know me well, and thus have no loyalty to me or don't "have my back" if she starts complaining. The older friends all knew my contributions and would constantly remind her (often noting jealously that their husbands barely did half of what I do for her).

In the meantime, I have been trying to do more things for myself. I spend less time around her where I used to spend most of my evenings next to her. I am spending way more time with the kids doing activities on the weekends. Went for a happy hour with an old friend after work recently. I know that in order for me to become attractive to her again, I will have to make myself happy first... so I am starting to do that, but I'm hurting like hell in the meantime and it shows.

I'm afraid it may come down to the separation, and I have to prepare myself for the storm. I think if she could ever put this one issue behind her - and it may take frustration on the dating scene like you saw to convince her that I'm not so bad, though that will absolutely kill me - she can and will be happy with me again. I've read a lot of stories of people being in her situation who have come around - though admittedly the fuel behind the "one problem" was different... and that's what I don't know if she will EVER get past.

Thanks again for your response. Any further feedback is much appreciated!