"Suffering is asking from the world what it can never give you." - I just heard this on a , and realized that only I am creating any ongoing suffering regarding my now demised relationship.

I cannot expect him to ever live with me without criticizing me - because that's what he does. He's intellectual and analyzes everything in a critical way. Perhaps he was trained to do that in childhood, either by his intellectual mother, or by the extensive education he was forced into prior to his eighteenth birthday.

When my son was living with us he criticized my son. When my son left, there was only me to criticize. I pointed out that this was verbal abuse (especially two hour tirades of criticisms) and it toned down but never entirely went away.

It got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore.

I do feel some residual guilt for telling him I never want to see him again but I really meant it at the time and even now, I know that's probably what's best for me, because he's way too old to change his ways and become a non-critical person.

I didn't mean to break his heart or distress him. This was entirely a self-preservation move to get away from the negativity that he does not realize he exudes.

Thanks for reading.

I need to find peace with this and forgive both of us, and move on with my life.