I feel very bad. I am very alone and lonly. feeling sick and scared. i do n't know why i end up being alone. I can't find someone to be in relationship. only people that i do n't like at some stage were interested in me but generally no one interested. I am a pretty girl just can't attract a guy. i am a shy girl so can't initiate anything even if i do i initate something vey boring and no useful. I am not enjoying being alone. I can't go travel as I am alone. recently i pushed myself to go to visit europe. the moment that i paid and i cme home so scared of going alone and ... that can't sleep and i prefer to cancel it and they take all of my money rather than going. I feel that i am tired of being so strong and alone. very boring. i need someone to trust and be my partner sick and tired of being myself and protect myself. very scared can't do it any more.